RPDR Pre-cap Finale and Reunion

Oh my goodness, y’all! The finale and the reunion! There is so much to discuss that it seems appropriate to do one of these precaps. Full recaps will appear eventually (approaching the end of semester here, so I need to pretend to prioritize).

First: Juju, Raven and Tyra are presented with the final challenge of co-starring with RuPaul in the video for “Jealous of my Boogie.” It’s basically a rehash of the final challenge from last season, right down to the Tic Tac lunch dates with Ru. The queens don’t have to write and perform a rap, but they do need to participate in a Joan Collins style catfight where Ru gets really slap-happy.

Anyway, while filming the runway catfight sequence the three queens totally let loose. Tyra can hardly contain herself, ripping off wigs and slamming Juju’s eye into Raven’s heel. Bitch, they must all be from Chicago, if you know what I mean. This all leads to the final runway showdown, where Juju was not up to snuff and eliminated. Aww! The final Lip Sync for Ya Life was to “Jealous of my Boogie” and both queens rocked it. Tyra was crowned the winner (AWWW!) but then the clip we have all been waiting for since 1 minute and 7 seconds from the first episode: Tyra hyperventilates and causes a bit of a panic. Raven doesn’t get to assume the duties as runner-up because Tyra recovers and WALKS.

Then there was the Reunion. Here’s what the queens have been up to:

Shangela: She has won some titles in California and seems all around fabulous. Hallayloo!

NPB: Helping her son connect the dots between dad and the woman in all the photos around the house.

Mystique: Her mom has not been kidnapped by Mexican drug cartels. Just FYI.

Sonique: Guess what! She has begun the transition process! Woo!

Morgan: Just doing her thing – I actually don’t recall what she said she was up to.

Sahara: Aside from the increased booking fees, she has now become a Dear Abby on Facebook for gay kids and future drag superstars.

Jessica: Jessica has become the Ann Landers for the future queens. Woo!

Pandora: She was able to reconcile with her father before he passed away, helped other gays who have contemplated suicide, and won Miss Congeniality. A true woman of the world!

Tatianna: Has a bit of an axe to grind with everyone who doubted her.

Jujubee: She’s riding the wave and hopes to parlay her experience into a gig in Rent.

Raven: She is serving as the grindstone for Tatianna and just about everyone who was not a Raven fan. There will be hugs.

Tyra: Hey, she just won, let the queen collect herself. Though I will say that I wonder how she can breath in that dress. KIDDING!

So yeah, all this and so much more – I’m sure you can see why I’m so excited to talk about it! Stay tuned!